


Multiverse night at the inventory

by SofiaTheRandomDemon



Series: Sam and Max: Freelance Cupids! [2]
Category: Poker Night 2, Sam & Max (Comics)
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Poker, S3 spoilers, alternative universes, and so does cupid sam, cupid max has a pining crisis in front of the other maxs, noir max au, sam and max the devil's playhouse spoilers, swap sam and max au, zombie max au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:48:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29560731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SofiaTheRandomDemon/pseuds/SofiaTheRandomDemon
Summary: Cupid Sam and Max get invited to a poker game on a place called the inventory, they have no idea of who they're playing against.Little do they know their opponents are other versions of themselves.
Relationships: Max/Sam (Sam & Max)
Series: Sam and Max: Freelance Cupids! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2161089
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	Multiverse night at the inventory

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey hey! I was really excited to post this and show it too!! hope you enjoy it!

It was a cold and rainy night on New York, a car with a cupid dog and rabbit was parking near a totally not suspicious place where people played poker in a totally legal way and the rats were looting up the trash cans near the place. Sam looked at the invitation they got to check the address. **“Yep. This is the place.”** He said as he turned off the gears of their beloved Desoto.  
  
Sam and Max got a mysterious invitation to a poker tournament on a place called _“The inventory”_ , they had no idea of who sent the invitation or why they would have invited them but they had nothing better to do so they thought they might as well check it out. They also didn’t knew who the other contestants of the tournament so only heaven knew if they were going to play against a toy mafia leader or something.  
  
  
They both took off their seatbelts, rushed their way out of the car and closed the doors to get inside before they were completely soaked with rain water. Sam knocked on the door expecting a bodyguard to ask for a password, invitation or something, they were both surprised when instead of a guard an elevator appeared in front of them when the door opened.  
  
They both stepped inside and waited for the elevator to descend wherever it was supposed to, while Max tried to shake dry some of the water off his wings his canine companion and best friend (and crush) shook off the water off his body in a canine fashion, causing Max to get all soaked again.  
  
After the elevator reached its destination and opened its doors the freelance cupid duo stepped out to what seemed to be a secret underground club, they were greeted by some Commodore Reginald Van Winslow guy who guided them along the place to a bar downstairs while telling them about him being their host for tonight’s tournament and about how he had managed to recently fix the elevator.  
  
A waitress offered them a pair of towels, Max gladly took one and dried himself, the little pink puff of hair on his head messing up a bit after it.  
  
They both took a closer look around and when they noticed the other contestants their eyes widened in surprise.  
  
  
They were other versions of them.  
  
  
A version of Max with lop ears and less sharp teeth who was wearing a suit and tie alongside a fedora was talking to a Sam who gave the lagomorph a sharp toothed maniacal grin as he spoke to him, he was wearing dark brown pants with suspenders and a dress shirt with rolled up sleeves.  
  
On the other side of the room there was a version of Sam without his jacket and had who also had his shirt’s sleeves rolled up, he had a small scar on his face and a bandage slightly covered in blood on his right arm. On his back was a zombie version of Max, his skin was a greenish turquoise and he was covered in scratches, scars and bites, his abdomen was open, making his ribs visible. Part of his brain was also visible through what seemed to be a bite, his eyes and teeth were a greenish shade of yellow. He was happily sitting inside a baby carrier on Sam’s back.  
  
  
In the corner of the room was a Max who had bags under his eyes, his fur was messy, like if he had just gotten up from bed. He wore the same tie and hat as the original Sam, he was smoking a cigarette while playing with the tie. He seemed like he was trying his best to not look at the other Sam versions.  
  
  
And of course there was the “original” versions of them. The naked lagomorph was jumping up and down on one of the chairs of one of the poker tables while his partner looked at him amused by his little buddy’s hyperactivity as he tuned his banjo.  
  
  
After staring at the scene in front of them they were both leaded towards different tables with their other me’s, multiverse versions or however they were supposed to call them.  
  
 **“Hey what about this empty seat? Are we having another average Joe joining us for tonight like when Sam and I played here alongside other characters from other franchises like Mr. Heavy weapons guy and that Brock Samson guy?”** Said the original Max, which made the other Maxes look at the empty seat next to him he was pointing at.  
  
 **“Hey there’s an empty seat here too!”** Said the Sharp toothed Sam from the other table, which wasn’t really far from the lagomorphs table.  
  
 **“Ah yes, we invited another dog and rabbit duo from the multiverse but I’ve been just informed that they’ll be unable to come so I’m afraid we’ll be one player short on both tables tonight.”** Explained Reginald. **“Why’s that?”** Asked the zombie Max.  
  
 **“They are currently having their 8 th wedding.”**  
  
Cupid Max almost choked on air. Did he hear that right? Wedding? There was a version of both him and Sam that we’re married? And for the 8th time now!?  
  
 **“Wedding?”** He asked. They must mean it’s their 8th time going to a wedding and he just misheard, right? There’s no way--  
  
 **“Yes, it seems they are getting married for the 8 th time now, they said they do it often for fun.”**  
  
Holy shit. There WAS a version of Sam and him that were actually married.  
  
  
  
 _He. And Sam. Married._  
  
  
  
The thought made his heart race and his mind drift off.  
  
 **“Only the 8 th? Sam and I are already on our 26th! They better get to it.”** Said the original Max.  
  
Sam and him were married in 2 alternate universes?  
  
 **“Sam and I were going for the 17 th,”** Said zombie Max **“until, well…”** He gestured at himself. **“Planning weddings in the middle of the zombie apocalypse when society is crumbling down is not easy. I’ve suggested using an abandoned church on a hill but Sam says it’s not safe yet due to the mutated zombie animals who took it over. Wedding wreckers.”**  
  
3 alternate universe versions!?  
  
 **“Sam and I are planning our 22 th wedding, he thought it would be nice to have our ceremony on a volcano but I had to go against that.”** Said Swap Max. **“Why’s that?”** the original Max asked. **“He wants it to be an active volcano.”**  
  
 **“You’re just scared of having an epic wedding, Max!”** Yelled Swap Sam at his lagomorph partner from his table. “ **No, I just don’t want this wedding to probably be our last, big guy.”**  
  
 **“What about you, Mr. Noir detective?”**  
  
The lagomorph simply put up his hand and pointed towards his ring with the other **“14 th.”** He seemed like he didn’t want to go deeper into the subject.  
  
All these guys we’re married to their Sams!?  
  
 **“And what about you, Cupid? I bet you and your Sam must have had quite some romantic weddings.”** Asked Swap Max, all the other Maxes turned to look at him. Cupid Max froze **“Well, uh,”** he tugged on his collar **“The thing is—“**  
  
 **“Gentlemen, I’m sorry to interrupt but we’ve got a tournament to play.”** Said Reginald.  
  
 **“Oh, right.”** Said the original Max, all the other Maxes agreeing focusing again on the tournament at hand. Cupid Max let out a small sigh of relief.

  
 **“Tonight’s tournaments have a twenty thousand dollar buy-in.”**  
  
All the Maxes placed and tossed their money on the table, after that GLaDOS’ robotic voice could be heard. **“The name of the game is Texas hold ‘em.”**  
  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Zombie Max picked up his 2 cards and shoved them into his mouth. **“Fold.”** He said while chewing the cards.  
  


 **“All the hell in!”** Said the original Max as he dragged all his chips to the center of the poker table.

 **“I’m walking out.”** Said Noir Max as he put his cards away, leaning back against his chair and taking out a cigarette and a lighter from somewhere that’s none of you damn business and lit up his cigarette.

 **“Check-o-rama!”** Said Swap Max as he tapped his fingers on the table.

Cupid Max looked down at the cards and stopped to think for a minute (something he rarely did) before doing his move. **“So?”** he turned his head up and saw all the other Maxes staring at him.

**“So what?”**

**“So how many times have you married your Sam as of now?”** Asked zombie Max, still chewing his tasty cards.

**“Uh… Well… Sam and I are... not married.”**

If it weren’t for the jazz playing in the background and the yelling of Swap Sam telling a gruesome and violent story about one of his cases with Max the room would’ve fallen in complete silence.

 **“Oh.”** Said Swap Max **“Engaged for the first time?”** Cupid Max shook his head. **“Dating?”** Asked Zombie Max, finally swallowing his cards.

**“No. Sam and I are best friends, partners, comrades, compadres, mejores amigos. And even though I do think and admit that he’s handsome and smart and funny and cute and very nice and attractive and probably a good kisser and—“**

Before he realized it he was gushing over the canine with his chin resting on his hand while the other Maxes stared, while the original Max smirked at him Zombie Max gave him a look that could only mean _‘Really?’_ and Swap Max simply stared at him an arched brow, Noir Max looked a little uncomfortable while looking to the side and clutching the tie he was wearing with his hand.

He coughed into his hand and tried to continue the game like if the conversation didn’t happen. **“Uh, fold.”** He put his cards in front of him on the table and leaned back on his chair looking at the side.

  
  
  


Cupid Sam pushed a few chips on the table, not looking at the other Sams after gushing the way he did about his little buddy.

 **“Only friends, huh?”** Said Swap Sam while smirking at him. **“Well, hearing yourself gushing about your husband on another universe is something I’d never thought I’d get to see. And I’ve seen Max flirt with girls in an alternate timeline!”**

  
  
  


**“So you haven’t told him how you feel yet?”** Said swap Max while fixing his tie.  
  


 **“I think it’s more than obvious that I haven’t.”** Cupid Max was still not looking at the other Maxes.

 **  
“Then you should just tell him, if you really want to be with him that is.”** Said Zombie Max.

 **“I mean, I do like Sam, he’s amazing, alright? One hell of a guy!”** Said Cupid Max throwing his arms up for emphasis. **“But…”** He looked down at the poker table, his ears drooping down a bit. **“What if he doesn’t like me the same way? He and I have been through so much together ever since we were kids, our friendship is more than perfect the way it is. I’m scared of just… messing it up and making it awkward and—“**

**“Buck-buck-buck-buck-up!”  
  
**

**“Stop taunting the chicken, Sam- I mean, original Max.”** Said swap Max.

  
 **“I’m no chicken! I’m a lagomorph!”** Said Cupid Max, glaring at both the original Max and swap Max.

  
 **“You have white wings like a chicken, though.”** Said swap Max, gesturing to the cupid’s white wings. Zombie Max sniffed him for a second **“And you smell like chicken too!”**

  
  
  


**“Alright Romeos, if you think you’re so good then why don’t you go ahead and give me some advice?”** Said Cupid Sam, crossing his arms while glaring at the others after being called a chicken.

 **“First of all, call me Romeo again and I’ll tear out your arm with my own teeth, it’s almost worse than when people call me the forbidden crime dog name. Second of all, just be cool.”** Said Swap Sam as he leaned back on his chair. **“When I confessed to Max I saved his life on my cool motorcycle and after that he was like _‘oh my god Sam you’re so cool I so want to kiss you right now!!’_ and I was like _‘Of course you can baby, in fact let’s get married’_ and then I pulled out a diamond ring from my pocket and Max cried.”**

All the others looked at him unimpressed, if this Sam had Max’s personality and sense of humor then it was no surprise he also had Max’s way of egocentrically lying when telling stories.

Swap Sam looked at them for a couple of seconds before letting out a sigh **“Ok, he confessed with a cliché bouquet and I just smooched him.”** His cheeks turning a slight shade of red.

  
  
  
  
 **“How about you, Z?”** Asked swap Max after finishing his story.

 **“I remember it all just like it was yesterday… even though it happened 3 months ago before the Zombie apocalypse! Sam and I were facing one of our worst enemies, Mack Salmon!”** As he said that lightning struck outside, giving him that dramatic effect.

**“His plan was to revert the effect that once turned him into a fish into the whole city, turning everyone into fish and returning him to his human form. Sam and I were on the case and faced Mack Salmon’s goons before reaching him to put a stop to his plans. One of them managed to take Sam and put his gun to his head, threatening to shoot him if I didn’t give up and that pissed me off! So I bit his scalp off with my sharp teeth and both Sam and I lunged for the other one after he recovered, also finishing him in a gruesome fashion!”** Zombie Max threw his hands up for emphasis and faked punching the air a few times.

 **“After successfully defeating Mack Salmon that day I simply told Sam _‘Hey, you want to date me since saving you today made me realize I can’t live without you and have been in love with you for years?’_ on our way back home riding the Desoto, and he said _‘Sure thing, little buddy! I’ve felt the same way for a while now but didn’t know how to say it!’_ and here we are years later!”** he gestured to his engagement ring, showing it proudly.

 **“In conclusion, just get to the point,”** Zombie Max reached into his chest and pulled out his heart, the organ still beating on his hand **“And put your heart into it!”**

The sight made Swap Max pass out, Cupid Max simply stared surprised while the original Max was more than amused and Noir Max seemed unimpressed. Zombie Max put his heart into his chest again **“Do it again! Do it again!”** plead the original Max, wanting to see the gruesome scene again.

After Swap Max recovered and asked Zombie Max to never do that again the conversation continued.

**“So how about you, Noir?”**

Noir Max simply looked at the side, feeling uncomfortable about talking about his dead partner. He simply said he didn’t want to talk about it.

 **“Then I guess it’s time I tell my story!”** the original Max stood up on the table **“Get ready, for this is a tale full of tears, anger, loss, blood and other body fluids!”**

 **“Gross.”** Noir Max took a puff of smoke from his cigarette and blew it out to the opposite side of the table.

**“And that is how I confessed to Max after seeing him turn into a giant elder god and sacrifice himself to save New York and Sybil’s baby.”** Said the original Sam, finishing his story.

All the others stared at him, some of them with their jaws almost falling to the floor. Well, all the others but the zombie apocalypse Sam since he was eliminated from the tournament and was sitting on another table having a drink.

 **“I didn’t get it.”** Said Swap Sam as he leaned his head to the side, confused.

**“Holy penguins eating pecan candy at a Snuckey’s on Pennsylvania! That’s sounds like quite the adventure!”**

**“So, in conclusion?”** said cupid Sam, remembering the main point of the conversation.

  
  
  


**“Wheat bread is not an effective coagulant!”** Said the original Max, returning to his seat. By the time the story was over Noir Max got eliminated and was sitting away from the table.

**“How is that gonna help me confess to Sam?”**

**“I have no idea!”**

  
  


After the tournament was over with Zombie Max and Swap Max taking their respective pots each Sam and Max started heading to their respective cars.

**“Congratulations, little buddy! But what are we going to do with all this money on a zombie apocalypse where society is falling apart and stores are closed and looted by survivors like us?”**

**“We could burn it for warmth or use it to lure greedy zombie-fied old men away from our camp!”** Zombie Max was holding the cash on his arms while walking out of the place with Sam. “You crack me up, little buddy.” Zombie apocalypse Sam put his hand on Zombie Max’s head while he shook his own.

**“In your face suckers!”** Swap Sam laughed at the losers while pointing at them with a hand while carrying his loot with the other as he walked to the car with Max. The original Max grumbled.  
  


**“Show off…”**

  
Before Swap Sam could say anything else a couple of cards suddenly jumped out of his pockets, he froze for a couple of seconds before rushing to he and Max’s respective Desoto.

Before cupid Max reached the car’s door Noir Max grabbed him by the shoulder and turned to him. **“Confess before it’s too late or you'll regret it. Trust me.”** After that he started heading out.

On the way home cupid Max started thinking about what the other versions of himself said as he looked out the car’s window, except for what original Max said since it still had him confused. They all confessed to their Sams and things turned out really well, hell, they even got married! Maybe if he confessed to Sam things wouldn’t turn out wrong. He thought back to what that Noir version said too, maybe he should actually do it soon.

_Just not today._

**Author's Note:**

> Oof this was the longest thing i've written and took me awhile but here you go!! I really hope you enjoyed the fic and that i didn't got too out of character writing the different Sam and Maxs. Thank you for reading!


End file.
